Dyani's Story:
"I am one of the lucky Young Carers who has been working with Char Rain. She saved my life!"
Dyani with her dad Raymond at a Brain Injury Awareness event for the Sunday TVNZ show.
In 2007, Dyani’s dad sustained a severe Traumatic Brain Injury while a passenger in a car. He was hospitalized for several months and spent months in a rehabilitation unit. Now wheelchair-bound, he communicates using an alphabet board to spell out words.
At the time of the accident, Dyani was too young to read, so she found new ways to spend time with her dad.
"That was our time and that was how we communicated. He couldn't talk and I couldn't read"
"I would lie on his arm and watch movies. He would fall asleep because 'Tinkerbell' wasn’t his thing. But he would still lie there and hold me. That was our time and that was how we communicated. He couldn’t talk and I couldn’t read."
Dyani lived with her mum and visited her dad every fortnight. With his need for 24-hour care, there were always support workers present, some familiar and some not.
Dyani with her dad Raymond at a Brain Injury Awareness event.
“When I was there, I used to help wherever I could. Help to feed him, wipe his face, and anything else I could do. But I quickly developed the role of his protector. I would always just watch the workers making sure they didn’t hurt my dad.”
“Everybody focused on making him better and nobody explained to me why he was in a chair, why he couldn’t walk, and why he couldn’t talk. Maybe they all assumed I knew. But I didn’t. I was always so scared for him, and my heart felt bruised.”
As a young child, Dyani accepted the new normal, but as she grew older, the differences became more apparent.
“It wasn’t until I was in intermediate that it hit me. I felt different from the other kids. When I visited my dad, I would be with him whenever I could. Because he couldn’t talk to me, I felt the only way we could connect was if I did things for him."
“I couldn't talk to my friends because they didn't understand”
Back then, awareness of young carers and their impact was limited, so Dyani kept her struggles to herself.
“I felt overwhelmed with emotions, and I didn’t know whom I could talk to as I was the only person in my class who had a dad in a wheelchair. I couldn’t talk to my friends because they didn’t understand. I couldn’t talk to my family because they were so focused on my dad. So, I kept my emotions to myself. I felt so excluded that I started to feel angry. My grades dropped, my attitude worsened, and my emotions started to come out the wrong way. Small issues became overwhelming.”
Dyani left school at age 15 due to deteriorating mental health and became a paid family support worker, caring for her dad part-time from age 18. In 2023, Dyani enrolled in the Te Ara Mārama programme and is still working with Char Rain, Unseen Heroes Co-Founder and Holistic Healer.
Dyani with another young carer in the Te Ara Mārama programme.
“I am now 21 and although I’m still a young carer, I’m on my healing journey with Char Rain. I have learned tools to manage my mental health, and Unseen Heroes helped me enroll in a course with Toi Ohomai as I want to become a Naturopath.”
“I am one of the lucky young carers who has been working with Char Rain. She saved my life!”
Dyani with other young carers from the Bay of Plenty and Waikato regions.
“I am now 21 and although I’m still a young carer, I’m on my healing journey with Char Rain. I have learned tools to manage my mental health, and Unseen Heroes helped me enroll in a course with Toi Ohomai as I want to become a Naturopath.”
“I am one of the lucky young carers who has been working with Char Rain. She saved my life!”